kirstenPoems

Kirsten Hopkins
May 21, 2001

I wrote this book in loving memory of my friend, brother, and hero, Nick. We were very close and he taught me many things I will use for the rest of my life and would like to pass on to more people. He possesses amazing strength and had it his goal to help better others lives through his life time experiences and struggle with cancer. Nick lived, not only for himself but to touch people everywhere with his courageous life. In his twenty tough but wonderful years he lived through a lot. Nick is forever in our hearts.
I used quotes from his journal to show his way of thinking. All these quotes became very meaningful to me when we finally got to read his journal after he passed away April 28, 2001.
“The concept of time keeps leaving me when I am having my hardest times. I think that it’s good that I don’t realize how much important time I had lost. Time is non refundable and always should be used to its fullest.”
“This is probably when my new words to live by came to me. I had a simple idea and thinking the simple words ‘Don’t Think’ kept me going not just this long night, but many weeks into the future. If nothing enters your mind, then nothing can worry or trouble you. Without misleading thoughts your mind is open for what you want to have in it.”

Live for tomorrow

“...I have the mind set, I don’t know where I got it, but I believe I can pass it on to those who need it. Now I imagine if I could tell one person what it takes to survive mentally, I could save a life. The value of one life is not measurable. Suppose that one life was the person who discovered the cure for cancer, the snowball effect would be unbelievable.”

Except from Nick’s Journal

Table of Contents

Mr. Nick                      Page 2
To Survive                  Page 4
Believe                        Page 6
Have Faith                   Page 8
Forever                        Page 10
Live                              Page 12
Goodbye                      Page 14
Index                            Page 16

Mr. Nick

friend brother
persistant loving
parties fishing
smart caring
funny bold
thinker fearless
miracle believer
cousin son
football concerts
billiards bowling
honest strong
stylish road trips
MASH That 70's Show
classic cars fearless
Dickies Dr. Martins
outgoing music
H2O Bouncing Souls
snowboarding reading
wild smile
trucks hair-do
music Penneywise
Bad Religion Social Distortion
records the 50's
grandson nephew
role model powerful
Cadillacs books
hero admirable
hopeful laughter
Forever Nick

To Survive

Don’t Think
Live for Tomorrow

Believe

Believe in tomorrow.
Believe in life.
Believe you are being guided.
Believe things can only get better.
Believe you are indestructible.
Believe you are never alone.
Believe in life after death.
Believe in yourself.
Believe in heaven.
Nick believes.

Have Faith
Hope for fun.
Hope to win.
Hope for happiness.
Hope for success.
Hope for love.
Hope for health.
Hope to survive.
Hope for tomorrow.
And when all hope is gone,
Faith lives on.

Forever
He came before me
and paved the way,
we made the most
of every day.
We laughed about
what would make most cry,
but he was just
that kind of guy.
So now he’s gone,
his life just ended.
Mine goes on
with those he befriended.
He’s always here,
were never apart.
He lives forever,
inside my heart.

Live
You have this desire
To play and learn
Your life is so great
But then there is a turn
Yet still you push on
And try to succeed
Everything is positive
Your thoughts, words, needs
Everyone you meet
You touch in some way
Knowing you will make it
Each and every day
You are too young to worry
About pain and sorrow
So just don’t think
And live for tomorrow.

Good Bye
We look at you
we say good bye
trying to hide the tear in our eye.
We don’t want to go
because we all know
this is the last time
we’ll see you alive.
But at least we got
to say good bye.

Index - Photo Titles

GQ - Page 1
April 1999, Nick is leaving our house to go to his Senior Prom.
Happy Anniversary - Page 3
October 2000, Nick got this tatoo on the aneversary of his bone marrow transplant. Showing his words to live by and many other symbols that had become important through his life.
No Profit - Page 5
April 2001, This gate out side of City of Hope in Duarteshows inspiration.
Fountain of Hope - Page 7
November 1999, Nick outside the City of Hope getting ready to finally go home.
Heavenly - Page 9
March 2001, Early morning at Newport Beach shows emptiness, but the world still goes on.
Beatiful Boy - Page 11
May 2000,This is one of our best pictures of Nick taken at my grandma’s house that shows him happy. It has many meanings now because it was the main picture at his funneral.
The Walk - Page 13
October 1999, Nick takes a walk around City of Hope hospital. As a symbol in this book as him leaving.
Three of Us - Page 15
September 1999, This shows how close we all are including my sister, Natalie, Nick, and I. This is when he was leaving to the hospital with a long, hard road ahead of him.